<html xmlns:tei="http://www.tei-c.org/ns/1.0"><body><h1 align="center" class="head">"Form Fours"</h1><h1 align="center" class="head"><span class="smallcaps">A Volunteer's Nightmare</span></h1><div class="stanza"><p class="line"><span class="smallcaps">If</span> you're Volunteer Artist or Athlete, or if you defend the Home,</p><p class="line">You sacrifice "Ease" for "Attention," and march like a metronome;</p><p class="line">But of all elementary movements you learn in your Volunteer Corps</p><p class="line">The one that is really perplexing is known as the Forming of Fours.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">Imagine us numbered off from the right: the Sergeant faces the squad,</p><p class="line">And says that the odd files do not move -- I never seem to be odd!</p><p class="line">And then his instructions run like this (very simple in black and white) --</p><p class="line">"A pace to the rear with the left foot, and one to the right with the right."</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">Of course if you don't think deeply, you do it without a hitch;</p><p class="line">You have only to know your right and left, and remember which is which;</p><p class="line">But as soon as you try to be careful, you get in the deuce of a plight,</p><p class="line">With "a pace to the right with the left foot, and one to the rear with the right!"</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">Besides, when you're thoroughly muddled the Sergeant doubles your doubt</p><p class="line">By saying that rules reverse themselves, as soon as you're "turned about";</p><p class="line">So round you go on your right heel, and practice until you are deft</p><p class="line">At "a pace to the front with the right foot, and one to the left with the left."</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">In my dreams the Sergeant, the Kaiser, and Kipling mix my feet,</p><p class="line">Saying "East is left, and Right is Might, and never the twain shall meet!"</p><p class="line">In my nightmare squad <em>all</em> files are odd, and their Fours are horribly queer,</p><p class="line">With "a pace to the left with the front foot, and one to the right with the rear!"</p></div><p class="byline">-- F. S.</p></body></html> · Great War