<html xmlns:tei="http://www.tei-c.org/ns/1.0"><body><h1 align="" class="head">The Smoke Helmet</h1><h1 align="" class="head"><em>Tune</em>--" The Lum Hat wantin' a Croon "</h1><div class="stanza"><p class="line">OH, the Army Corps sent out a note</p><p class="line">For Battalion Commanders to warn</p><p class="line">Their men, that on any and every pretext,</p><p class="line">Or for any excuse in this world or the next,</p><p class="line">The Smoke Helmet must never be torn.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">And the days rolled placidly by,</p><p class="line">Until at inspection one morn</p><p class="line">The Colonel discovered that Private Mackay</p><p class="line">Had broken the Window that covered his eye</p><p class="line">And the front of his Helmet was torn.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">So at once to the Captain he went,</p><p class="line">And said with incredible scorn,</p><p class="line">" The whole of your men are improperly dressed,</p><p class="line">And one has a beard reaching down to his breast,</p><p class="line">And another's Smoke Helmet is torn."</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">The O.C. for his Subaltern sent,</p><p class="line">Who was standing, and looking forlorn,</p><p class="line">And he told him at once to make out a Report,</p><p class="line">Stating reasons of any and every sort,</p><p class="line">Why Mackay's Smoke Helmet was torn.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">So the Subaltern sat up all night,</p><p class="line">Till he wished he had never been born,</p><p class="line">And sent in a Report to the angry C.O.,</p><p class="line">Stating seventy probable reasons or so,</p><p class="line">Why Mackay's Smoke Helmet was torn.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">From Brigade to Division it went,</p><p class="line">And made General Headquarters to mourn,</p><p class="line">And the Master of Ordnance made an Indent,</p><p class="line">And a hundred and twenty Smoke Helmets were sent</p><p class="line">For the one that Mackay had torn.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">And at last it went into Whitehall,</p><p class="line">And became an Army Form,</p><p class="line">And Form Seven thousand and Ninety-six O</p><p class="line">Embodies the seventy reasons or so</p><p class="line">Why Mackay's Smoke Helmet was torn.</p></div></body></html> · Great War