<html xmlns:tei="http://www.tei-c.org/ns/1.0"><body><h1 align="center" class="head">Mules</h1><p class="byline"> C. FOX SMITH <br xmlns:exist="http://exist.sourceforge.net/NS/exist" xmlns:html="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"/><span class="smallcaps">IN London Punch</span><br xmlns:exist="http://exist.sourceforge.net/NS/exist" xmlns:html="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40"/>Reproduced by special permission of the Proprietors of "Punch"</p><div class="stanza"><p class="line">I NEVER would 'ave done it if I'd known what it would be.</p><p class="line">I thought it meant promotion and some extra pay for me;</p><p class="line">I thought I'd miss a drill or two with packs an' trenchin' tools,</p><p class="line">So I said I'd 'andled horses--an' they set me 'andlin' mules.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">Now 'orses they are 'orses, but a mule, 'e is a mule</p><p class="line">(Bit o' devil, bit o' monkey, bit o' bloomin' boundin' fool!)</p><p class="line">Oh, I'm usin' all the adjectives I didn't learn at school</p><p class="line">On the prancin', glancin', rag--time dancin' army transport mule.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">If I'd been Father Noah when the cargo walked aboard,</p><p class="line">I'd 'ave let the bears an' tigers in, an' never spoke a word;</p><p class="line">But I'd 'ave shoved a placard out to say the 'ouse was full,</p><p class="line">An' shut the ark up suddent when I saw the army mule.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">They buck you off when ridden they squish your leg when led;</p><p class="line">They're mostly sittin' on their tail or standing on their 'ead;</p><p class="line">They reach their yellow grinders out an' gently chew your ear,</p><p class="line">An' their necks is indiarubber for attackin' in the rear.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">They're as mincin' when they're 'appy as a ladies' ridin' school,</p><p class="line">But when the fancy takes 'em they're like nothin' but a mule--</p><p class="line">With the off wheels in the gutter an' the near wheels in the air,</p><p class="line">An' a leg across the traces, an' the driver Lord knows where.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">They're 'orrid in the stables, they're worse upon the road; </p><p class="line">They'll bolt with any rider, they'll jib with any load;</p><p class="line">But soon we're bound beyond the seas, an' when we cross the foam</p><p class="line">I don't care where we go to if we leaves the mules at 'ome.</p></div><div class="stanza"><p class="line">For 'orses they are 'orses, but a mule 'e is a mule</p><p class="line">(Bit o' devil, bit o' monkey, bit o' bloomin' boundin' fool!)</p><p class="line">Oh, I'm usin' all the adjectives I never learnt at school</p><p class="line">On the rampin', rawboned, cast-steel-jawboned army transport mule.</p></div></body></html> · Great War