The Great War

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The Kaiser's Dream

This postcard is a poem entitled "The Kaiser's Dream." It tells a story of "Kaiser Bill" having a dream that he is not admitted to heaven and kicked out of hell. On reverse: "E. Mack King Henry's Road, London N.W."; "Printed in England"; a handwritten message.

Text on postcard:

There's a story now current, though strange it may seem, Of the great Kaiser Bill and a wonderful dream. Being tired of the Allies, he lay down in bed, And amongst other things he dreamt he was dead. On leaving the earth to Heaven, he went straight, Arriving up there, he knocked at the gate, But St. Peter looked out, and in voice loud and clear, Said "Begone Kaiser Bill, we don't want you here." Well, says the Kaiser, that's very uncivil, I suppose after that, I must go to the Devil? So he turned on his heel, and off he did go At the top of his speed to the regions below, And when he got there he was filled with dismay, For, while waiting outside, he heard Old Nick say To his imps: "Now look here, boys, I give you all warning, I'm expecting the Kaiser down here in the morning; But don't let him in, for to me its quite clear, He's a very bad man, and we don't want him here. If he ever gets in we'll have no end of quarrels, In fact, I'm aftaid he'll corrupt our good morals." "Oh, Satan, my dear friend," the Kaiser then cried, "Excuse me for listening while waiting outside; If you don't admit me, then where can I go, Oh do let me in for I'm feeling quite cold. And if you want money, I've got plenty of gold; Let me sit in a corner, no matter how hot;" "No, no," said Old Nickie, "most certainly not; We do not admit folks for riches and wealth; Here are sulphur and matches, make a Hell for yourself." Then he kicked William out, and vanished in smoke, and just at that moment the Kaiser awoke. He jumped out of bed in a shivering sweat; and said, "Well, that dream I shall never forget; That I won't go to Heaven I know very well, But it's really too bad to be kicked out of Hell."

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