The Great War

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"When" Carranza Whips Our U.S.A.

This postcard features a poem which mocks the boast made by one of Carranza's generals that Mexico would easily beat the United States in another war. The title of the poem is " 'When' Carranza Whips Our U.S.A." and it is copyrighted 1916. On reverse: handwritten message.

Text on postcard:

When the lion eats grass like an ox And the fish-worm swallows a whale, When the tarapin knits woolen sox And the hare is outrun by the snail; When the serpents walk upright like men And doodle-bugs travel like frogs, When the grasshopper feeds on the hen And feathers are found on hogs; When thomas cats swim in the air And elephants roost upon trees, When insects in summer are rare And snuff never makes people sneeze; When fish creep over dry land And mules on velocipedes ride, When foxes lay eggs in the sand And women in dress take no pride; When Dutchmen no longer drink beer And girls get to preaching on time, When the billy-goat butts from rear And treason no longer is crime; When the humming-bird brays like an ass And limberger smells like cologne, When plow-shares are made out of glass and the hearts of our Texans are stone; When all sense leaves the American head And we no longer have Uncle Sam, Then, only then, U.S.A. will be dead, And we'll forever and ever be damned.

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